It's a strange feeling when you realize that you don't have someone in the same city to call when you need to just get away from the rest of the world. It sucks to realize that your best friends are at least 2 hours away and some even further. But what a great reminder it is that I should not first lean on those around me, but on my Heavenly Father. It's hard to be in this place. I know what I want, and yet I'm pursuing a degree that I have no desire to really have right now. I am following what I think I should be doing. So in the end, my heart is still elsewhere. Things must go on. This is only a season, and I know that it shall pass. Friendships end, my heart slowly breaks for those lost friendships, love may come and go, work may only be to pay the bills...but in the end, as long as I know where I stand with my God, as long as I know that this pain is because I am following him and unwilling to change for others, then all is good. As hard as it is to remember sometimes, I know that is isn't about me or what I want. It's all about following Him and loving others as he has told us to.

I will stay here and hold on until the day that I can return to the red dirt of Uganda where the pain and joy are mixed, but the love is more real than I have ever known.